The bus driver glances briefly at the man. The man dons loose jeans and a faded sweater, a bag casually slung over his shoulders. "how are you doing?" the bus driver remarks, and the man smiles.

It's a playful grin, and the bus driver instantly knows that this is a man he can trust. An air of ease, a cheerful demeanor, a contagious aura that puts people around at ease. "Hi," the man replies. A reticent Asian, the bus driver thinks, but the kind that speaks many more words than he actually says. Slightly tipping his cap, the bus driver gestures him in with a familial, comfortable glance.

As he drives, something about the man makes the bus driver glance at him every now and then. It's a subtle difference, but one that clearly differentiates him from the other tired students that so often roll their eyes and chew their gum. The end-of-week tiredness is definitely not visible. Rather, its an air of anticipation, a tingling happiness ready to burst out, a man filled to the brim and possibly even overflowing.

The bus reaches and the man leaves, spreading the air of effervescence in his wake. That's a good man right there.

He drives on into the distance, into the sunset, into the future.

---

The bus driver glances briefly at the man. The man dons loose jeans and a faded sweater, a bag casually slung over his shoulders. "how are you doing?" the bus driver remarks, and the man smiles.

It is a tired smile - the kind that is a little forced. There's something behind it that is waning, ebbing. Both cheeks are raised but the eyes aren't uplifted. "Hi", the man replies, but gets no reply in return. The bus driver had long since learnt to recognize these fake grins. He snorts and looks out to the road as the man approaches the bus.

Something suspicious about the man makes the bus driver look back. The man has stopped in his tracks. That isn't usual in a school where tired students just want to go home at the end of a week.

The man is looking away from the bus into the distance. Squinting, the bus driver sees what the man is looking at. It is a slim silhouette, a lady standing on the pavement, a phone in her hand. she is a simultaneous picture of both grace and sorrow. In a way, the bus driver sees the lady in the man, and the man in the lady. He wonders, for a split second, if the lady is simply a reflection in the windshield of the man standing by the bus.

The bus driver's attention returns to the man as he turns to the bus and smiles, and for that moment he sees the lady no more. The man smiles, and now it carries an aura of melancholy, an air that brings back memories to the bus driver.

Slowly, the man shakes his head, and waves at the bus driver. He will not be taking the bus anymore. Tonight, he will not fill the bus with his presence.

In that moment, the bus driver's suspicion turns into a sense of somberness, as he sees a person (or is it two?) before him, brought down by the circumstances of life, of love, of anger, of sadness, of fate, of the world. He tips his hat towards the man, and the man nods to indicate he understands. It had said many words: good luck, my man. be strong and live on without regret.

The bus drivers drives on into the distance, into the night, into the future.

Today (like any other day)

Today,

I woke up, and then I went home. Wait, wasn't I already at home? Well, yeah, I was. But sometimes home isn't truly home, just approximately home. Does that make sense?

I tried to cling on to my dream before it faded from memory. I failed. It was a pity, I kind of enjoyed that dream. It had some girl in it. Someone I'd really liked.

Once again, I had no fate with the inter-sector transports. As I reached Alpha Lot, I saw the it take off into the distance and cursed under my breath. The ardous journey would have to be done on foot.

I plodded off. Sol was rising and time was running short. Once Sol was up, the sentries would too. I couldn't have them know, have them find out.

My plod broke into a jog, then a run. The angle of the shadows were sharply straightening. That wasn't good. At the angle of 30 degrees, when the lucent beams started to illuminate the Oak district, that would be the sealing of fate. Now it was a sprint.

---

Today,

I woke up, and I was at home. My time-meter said 8.20. Roll call was at 8.40. Thankfully, I had already washed up. Sometimes I do right it before I wake up. It comes with training. Couldn't have the old Colonel breathing down my neck, could I?

Roll call proceeded smoothly and the head of the special forces stood before us. He gave the usual spiel about minimizing resource wastage and sustaining morale. We looked back at him sharply. Rapt faces belied uninterested hearts.

---

Today,

I woke up, and I was at home. Canteen dining hours had passed. My fellow buddies were already done with their meals; I'd be on my own.

Staggering out, I once again sought to retain the images in my dream. I succeeded this time. It brought a smile to my face.

I walked out of home. Sol glimmered in the distance, people basked in its glow.

I stepped out into the quaint streets, on the glistening grass, across the twinkling river. A new day had begun.

Other World => *Warning - Horror*

Wake up with a gasp.

Don't close your eyes. You never know what you're going to get when you open them again. A dark shadow? An unknown person on your bed with you? A lady when it should be a man? or just Darkness?

You open your mouth yet cannot scream, you struggle with your might yet cannot move. Horror grips you from within in a tightening, deathly vise. Still your furtive glances. If you look to your left and right you'll only see what you shouldn't be looking at. Its better not to know.

When you sleep you can't get up again. He.. no, IT.. presses you down into your bed, whispers those words into your ear, the rambling language of the unknown, words from the lost, the other realm.

Stay your eyes open! Don't you dare to shut them for even a moment. If you do, you may never come back. You may be lost, in a limbo between the reality and the dreamworld, where seconds in real life become eons to you. Where you are trapped, screaming, struggling, unable to awake as it presses you, crushes you, in your eternal wakefulness.

It doesn't matter who you lie with, who's with you as you close your eyes. When you drift off, you're on your own, on your own, on your own.

You alright, my dear?

Don't think about it...

Sweet dreams.

Lights... flashing, pulsating, blue, darkness, green, on, off, on again, red. Boom boom pow.

Two bodies in the corridor. Kissing, hugging, hands exploring free. Oblivious to all else but the moment of passion. Joined as one, lascivious, lustful, indulgent.

Sploches of blue. Boisterousness. Cranberry red. Bags, couch, bodies. Moving, gyrating, turning. Closeness, distance, dizz, straight, floor, ceiling. Splotches of blue. Spinning, moving, enjoying, listening. Eyes open. Blink. Open again. Blueness. Loudness. Ice. Move. More ice. Couch. Vodka? No. Up, blur, whirr, drunkenness, bacchanalian riotness. Endure tiredness, dance exhaustion. Succumb and enter the realm of the unexplored. The land of sapphire, the ocean of ruby, the emerald shawty fire burnin' on the dance floor.

She comes to him. Fervent, furious, unrestrained. One, two, three, four, un, dos, tres, cuatro. Her hair, her smell. Sober Drunkenness. Drunken soberness. Entangled, joined, eternal, momentarily, blended and served on rocks.

The scenery, the wind. breezes in the hair. The traffic below. The moon above. The red glow. Nightlights accentuated under the night sky. inching cars. winding rivers. Stabilize your hand, take a good picture. Do it well or lose the opportunity. Snap the picture. Hold it still. exhale slowly... no, don't move.. wait for the shutter.. trembling hand, holding as steady as possible. Click. It's done. It's nice. Ruby redness. The tottering on the edge, falling over, close your eyes, embrace the reward.

hands, unconstrained, neck, face, lips. Colors. blotches. pulsating lights, gyrating bodies, furiousness, blending, mixing, passion, soberness, drunkenness, lost, lost, lost, un dos tres cuatro boom boom pow fire burning on the dance floor burning succumb burning succumb.

Open your eyes again. Snap out of the reverie. Put on your tie, your suit, do your hair, tidy the bed. It's time to pull yourself together.

"I got a feeling... (woo hoo...) that tonight's gonna be a good night... that tonight's gonna be a good night..."

Ah,

to lie in bed. No thoughts, no emotions. A brand new day begins and so does a new life. each time we sleep we die, each time we awake we live again. Who's to say that's not true? What is the world? What if you closed your eyes and the world disappeared? What if you opened it and it was there again? What if a tree fell in jungle 5000 miles away in a faraway forest and nobody heard it? Did it really fall?

A blink implodes the world and then explodes it again in a split moment. It extinguishes and reinstates the very fabric of reality, just like a snap, like this *snap*. *blink*. *snap*. Turning your head sweeps away everything behind it and scatters it to the cosmic winds. Look there, and what then?

3 things always exist through it all. Faith, Hope, Love. Do you not believe me? Look at the bible. 1 Cor 13:13a "¹³And now these three remain: faith, hope and love." The greatest of these is love (1 Cor 13:13b). "¹³But the greatest of these is love."

How do we know that we exist, that we are not a mere figment of someone else's thoughts? How do we know that the world endures, it does not implode? How do we know that a tree falls in the Amazon? Ah, my dear, how can we ever fathom?

Ominous dark clouds billow and roar
Glistening tears from the heavens pour
Sky, Oh sky, must it be
that I shall never answer her call.

Behold the pastures, turn to the greens!
flick your eyes over in the subtlest glimpse
There! Poises her in the gentle wind
Beckoning, alluring, to all she sings.

Tinges her voice with untaint mirth
joy, gladness, scarcely simple love:

F ree, Free,
R un with me,
I nto the wilderness,
S oar over the seas,
B e at calm,
E spouse the truth,
E mbrace the joy, of your youth!

Ominous dark clouds billow and roar
Glistening tears from the heavens pour
Sky, Oh sky, must it be
that I shall never ever answer her call.

She sings, yes! Such beautiful tunes!
Weaving a tapestry with her vocal looms
Yet I know that it cannot be
Yet I know that I must see
My halcyon days flee
before me
thus ignoring my silent plea

That she, no, will not be off, will not be off,
where is justice
where is mercy
please no. please no. my love, my life.
just. once.
pretty
ple...aasse?

...

and.

yet.

it.

must.

I just had a little revelation! The stock market actually means... very little! In fact, it is a huge waste of productivity and time.

I shall explain what I mean with an example:
Scenario 1:
1. Assuming that a barrel of oil was trading at $25. Tom buys 3 barrels at $75
2. OPEC cuts back on production, oil rises to $28. Tom sells his barrels at $84 to Tim, who hopes the price of oil will rise further. Tom makes $7 and the broker takes a $2 cut.
3. Oil prices rise further to $30! Tim is elated and sells his barrels to Jim at $90. Tim takes $5 and the broker takes a $1 cut.
4. Brunei defects on the OPEC agreement and increases output. Oil prices fall to $25 again. Jim sells his barrels to minimize loss. Tom sees the opportunity to get the barrels cheap and buys at $75. Jim loses $17, ($15 loss + the broker takes his $2 cut).

The net effect of the above scenario is that Tom earns $7, Tim makes $5, Jim loses $17 and the broker makes $5.

Scenario 2:
1. Oil prices are at $25.
2. Oil prices rise to $28.
3. Oil prices rise to $30.
4. Oil prices fall to $25 again.

Now let us compare the differences between scenario 1 and scenario 2. In scenario 1, we find that the net profit of the system is $0, just that $$$ has been redistributed to benefit savvy investors and the broker, at the expense of Jim.
In scenario 1, we also find that Tom, Tim, Jim, and the broker has each wasted 1-2 hours of time buying and selling oil to each other. These hours would have been saved in scenario 2.

We thus find that the market simply results in a redistribution of wealth to the rich, and a net loss of productive time to the world!!! Without the secondary stock market, thousands of people could be out there producing barrels of oil, applying their knowledge to doing some real good in the world. With the market, people are just buying and selling goods from one another, barrels of oil are circulating out there from owner to owner, precious hours are being wasted in the process!

Liken it to a huge lobbying system man. The world could really do with some real contributions instead..

Contemplating the reality of the stock market in Florida's sunset..

Mmm ever since I left SSA (my term ended in February), I've filled in my time with AIESEC and the Michigan Econs Soc (MES)! The MES pretty much has 0 commitments and involvements, but AIESEC's been a really interesting experience! The only drawback is like the twice a week meetings and Saturday Extra Activities.. Time consuming, but pretty fun lar.

Speaking of AIESEC, it's given me a good opportunity to know a lot of Americans and other Asians. There's a fellow Singaporean, Xinyi, the esteemed Freshmen Rep (and future president of SSA??), who's a joy to talk to and joke with. Incidentally, Xinyi is probably the only reader of my blog after it fell into a state of disuse 2-3 years ago. A year back, I only updated my entries for that silly innocent joy of making an imprint in the world, you know, like urinating on a lamppost to mark that territory. Today, I once again welcome a certain level of readership. So, hello! Please make yourself at home, and feel free to ask should you need a cup of coffee or tea.

So what does AIESEC do? I shalt provide thee the model answer:
- It is the world's largest student organization with 22,000 members in 100+ countries around the globe! We are keen in providing opportunities to students to travel and work in different countries to develop global minded youths! Mmm, of course at a dimunitive, paltry fee of $500.00. Mm

What else is in my life now? Ah, yes. This weekend was Easter weekend, which was a blast. The cell group held a "pre-easter celebration" that we invited many friends to. All was good.

Ok I shall update you again when I am freer. Someday, I shall talk about some Philosophy or Economics.

Man! Yesterday something like 30-40 people came down to my place to celebrate my birthday! It was so out of the blue man.. I had been expecting some surprise to happen, but as it went to 11o'clock and onwards I was ready to resign to nothing and go to lie down in bed feeling sianz.

Then Jinfa burst into the room with a cake! It was so random, and he later said my stunned face was really a Kodak moment in itself.

So the cake was awesome, people were all around shaking my hands and chatting and laughing and chilling. It was really great cos this week's a massive examination fest for us all, but to think they all took the time to come down, that's really something man.

23 sounds so old, there's just this psychological thing.. 21 is the best age, 22 is still alright, but once the '3' digit is introduced then you start to realise that it is indeed downhill from here on! But you know what? If growing old means growing old with such an amazing bunch of people, then hey I don't mind it one bit =)

Man, 3 exams this week! I completed the stats for Econs one yesterday but I still am facing 2 tomorrow. I just... need.. to get the 2 of them out of my way...

The last 3 nights stretched to the 3 or 4am's, and I had to get by with a cup of coffee each day. I've decided not to tonight just in case I get hooked on the caffeine. That happens really easily for me so I'll just save my coffee quota for tomorrow instead! 1 exam at 10-11:30am, 1 from 8-9:30pm. Then I'm free till Thanksgiving!

Speaking of thanksgiving, I really gotta say that this week I've been surviving on nothing but adrenalin, caffeine, and God. I think the strength's totally sapped from me and now He's really carrying me through. So a big thank you to God!

Anyway, so what's up in my life? Well, I guess life is still good for me. Ever since the big few SSA events passed by (MAF, Halloween, SG Food Fest), I've gotten more time to do QT, studying and hanging out with my pals. The next event would be Celebrasia, and then the clubbing night with the other Asian SAs in end November.

Anyway work's just in the back of my mind, stymieing my fluency in writing. There's been a lot of learning, a lot of new experiences, and a lot of friends I've made. The freshmen are a great bunch who I meet occasionally in Central (Given that most of my batchmates stay at home in North). I'll get down to it again sometime, k? For now, its Econ 401 and Philo 202. Econ is the more infamous of the courses (known for its difficulty) but Intro Philo is surprisingly the course that I really have to struggle to maintain an A in. For the first midterm it was the single blemish, a B+/A- grade that shook me to reality. So I have to go on. I must push on.. After all, the ETA of my mini-post-exam-celebration is but 24hr40min away...

Ok,

Chih said my French was totally off and so I am now very paiseh that it is the first post that everyone will look at when they come in to my blog, however defunct it is.

So I'll push it down a little into secondary limelight with this post instead.

Anyway, its one more year since the last blog entry. Things have changed and shot by yet again.. My freshmen year is over and now I am the older-sounding sophomore. Goodness, youth is only so short and yet I'm watching it go by year by year. Sigh I wonder if humans were originally created to study for the first 20 years of their lives and in effect throwing them away. Perhaps it was so when humans lived hundreds of years long (like Noah). But not as practical in the time when a human lifespan was but 40 years (in the BCs)?

Anyway, I've come back from Umich after a year, my 4.0 GPA already shattered by a 2-credit A- (A+ counts as 4.0 in Umich so you can't go higher than that), fatter of course, and battle-worn from the exams. And then over summer I got to relax and enjoy Singapore. You know, Singapore is really still the best place to be in! I wrote an entry in another blog, the STB scholars one, about how I learnt to treasure Singapore after I left. Michigan is boring, and even New York honestly doesn't have as much to do as Singapore. Being small, all the amenities in Singapore is compacted and hence so much more accessible! In the US, you may even have to drive half a day to get to the nearest theme park (more than 6 times the width of Singapore!)

Ok that aside I've had a great time catching up with friends, doing internship with STB, playing comp games etc. In Umich there were so many times when I said "I'm not going to play this game/watch that movie/read that book etc till I go back home". And when I got home, I had a fair share of those unfulfilled desires!

Computer Games: C&C3, God of War, FinalFantasy12, Metal Gear Solid 3
Other games: Squash, Tennis, Table-top D&D, Bonanza!, Citadels, Munchkins, Texas Hold 'Em
Books: Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell, Veronika decides to die, Manga
Shows: 24 Season 1, Flame of Recca, Final Fantasy 7:advent children, Transformers, 300...

Phew! I think that I should be pretty topped up to carry on slogging the next semester. The fun I had this summer was perhaps more than what I usually get in an entire year! =) Speaking of going back, I will be flying off to Mich again in slightly over a week. I will go on the morning of the 27th. I can't stand counting down but it just keeps weighing on my mind. 10..9..8.. Think my parents are also quite sad. Sigh I will definitely miss all again in the coming sem.

Ok think I'd better be off. Talk again another time! At least my chui French is somewhere down there now =)

Quell est votre profession?
- Je suis sans emploi, et je ORD a 15 Mars.

Felicitations pour votr ORD! Alors, qu'est-ce que vous faites?
- Je suis etudiant, a l'alliance francaise. Je apprenons le francais.

Vous parlez pas mal de francais. Depuis quand est-ce que vous etudie le francais?
- Depuis 24 fevrier. Dis donc, a propose, on se tutoie? C'est la regle chez moi.

Hahaha... Oui, D'accord, d'accord. Il y a deja eu des problemes avec le francais?
- Oui, toujour! Enfin... Quelquefois. Quell langue interessante!

Ensuite, tu as une copain?
- Oui, elle s'appelle Stepfanie. Elle est ma cherie amour. (*rire*) Elle aussi, elle est une etudiante a SMU. Elle as tres bien resultats!

Tiens, tiens... vous a l'air en amour, aussi! Voila, c'est tout. Merci beaucoup, monsieur.
- Tu m'appelle Ghim, si te plait! A bientot!

Fakie conversation for practice... Ghim